2003-03-27

Dave Barnett (and Don Cherry) have it wrong. We are not really friends with the U.S. We are more like the stepbrother the Americans used to bully when we were younger. Still, family is family.

Moreover, that brings us to their second fallacy. The war in Iraq is not a bar brawl. It is more like our stepbrother has had a few too many and decides to lay into some shrimp. Now the shrimp is not a terribly popular guy - he is self important and surly, and he was convicted several years ago of wife beating and has been on parole ever since - but there's little doubt about the outcome.

To make matters worse, we know that money's been a little tight for our step-brother lately, and that's been causing him to fight with his wife. He has been eyeing the shrimp's wallet all evening. We are worried that the wallet will go missing after the fight.

Dave and Don believe we should help our stepbrother pummel the shrimp. Heck, our full-brother is beating on him too. The rest of us, including the other patrons at the bar, react in horror at the sight of this big lout knocking the stuffing out of some little guy.

Here is where real family loyalties come into play. We should be telling our stepbrother to lay off. He is making people feel sympathy for the arrogant shrimp and he is showing himself off as a bully. In addition, we think that if he is having financial and marital problems, he should try spending less time in bars and more time at home with his wife and family.

Gary Dale, Provincial NDP Candidate
Scarborough East